And we’re back. Hello. Yes, everybody. It’s doing the most with Scarlet and Mitchell. Here we are.
Yeah. Why is my voice cracking like a pubescent boy? I don’t know, but I don’t I can’t quite speak to lots of things today. But, anyway, I’m glad that you’re here. Thanks for joining me.
I’m happy to be on. Okay. I hope our dear listeners are because, that was, I’ve already lost my, my magical pad to tell me what to do. This is episode four. We already stated that.
Right? So we are a little podcast update for you, everybody. We are at, I’m gonna say hundreds of listeners on you’re looking Really? Well, it’s it’s it’s measured in, in triple digits at this point is what I’m saying. So I Thank you, guys.
We’re not into the well, I mean, so let’s say if you had less than 200 somebody fall asleep and play it on repeat? Well, that’s okay. And, you know, some of this actually the way the software the way the majoring works, they try to get rid of that. So, like, I can see because I haven’t pulled in Spotify listens yet, which is, is well, last I looked was only one because that was me. I was testing it.
And then, through directly listening through the website, there’s also someone. I haven’t taken time to look at that one. So I’m just looking purely Apple Podcasts, which is fine. So there are people listening. It’ll tell me, like, what where what part of the world they’re listening from.
So and it’s Oh, cool. You wanna guess all the cities in America? Portland. Yeah. Check.
Ogden. No. That would be no. Oh, thanks for nothing, Audrey. Oh, no.
It’s Salt Lake. Oh, Salt Lake. Salt Lake. Yeah. And then there’s one another one in Utah, in Logan.
Okay. And then there’s Shout out to Annika. Yeah. Woo hoo. The one in Seattle.
I know. You’re supposed to know what that’s all about. And then there’s still another place. North Carolina? Well, even can you get a little more granular?
Winston Salem. No. Mount Airy. Oh my goodness. Oh, wow.
That granular. Okay. I didn’t even know they recognized that as a location. Yeah. I’m sorry.
I Is that the vacuum? Yes. I am hearing the vacuum right now. I’m just going insane because it’s Why is the door cracked? Oh my goodness.
There. Oh, that calmed the vacuum down in you know, nobody can hear the vacuum now. So there we go. So on the front of the the podcast well, the podcast front. Now that I’m getting too literal, there’s the cover art, which the one that’s out there, which people are seeing currently is like that.
It was me trying to be, like, in NPR. Like, I don’t know. It’s, like, supposed to it says doing the most. If you haven’t seen it, people Boring. I don’t know how you haven’t seen it because you have to click on something to listen to this.
I hope. But it’s like it’s supposed to be kinda like a upward, like, you know, a trajectory, maybe a graph, and it looks like a mountain, and it’s yeah. It doesn’t really You’ve seen it. Yeah. I have seen it.
I’m saying so what I was gonna say though is I have been doing I create, using chat g p t, I’ve been creating, podcast art, cover art, and I give it input. And you’ve seen some of these. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
And they’re pretty funny. Like, I could do and by the way, I could do the chat GBD image creation all day long. I mean, I’m on the free plan, which is like you get three images, and then it’s then it’s like you’ve reached your limit. Well, I could do that. Sponsor us, chat GPT.
Yeah. All Yeah. All day long I could do that. So we so we’ve got I’ve got a few of them. Some of them are good, some are not, some are funny.
Like you’ve we’ve you know, because I’ll put in like cats in vacuums. That seems to be the most hilarious result. So I’ve been thinking like, oh, I could put those on the website. I don’t know there’s enough people well, here’s the truth. No one has left a single comment on the website.
Someone has left a comment in in, iTunes or excuse me, Apple Podcasts. Excuse me. Someone has left a comment there. No one’s left a comment on the website, which if you don’t know how to do that Do we have a website? Yes.
It is scarletandmitchell.com. Scarlet with 1 t and and it’s all just Scarlet and Mitchell. Actually, if you go to Google and just type in Scarlet and Mitchell, like separate, I think it’ll the first result is the podcast on Apple, podcast. What I’m saying though is this, that if someone wanna put a comment, they go put a comment into the website, there’s a little comment section. And then Mhmm.
You obviously, like, oh, I could even put a little page up with all the podcast art and people could vote on it, but I don’t know that anyone even would do that. I guess I could do it just for fun. I the another idea would be I could just rotate the podcast art every week, though that might be confusing, until we settle in on one, or we could just do it. I don’t know. These are just my ideas about the podcast art.
I’m aware of the one that I thought was just gonna be kind of I don’t know. Sorry. I put way too much work into that that steaming No. It works. It’s great.
I know, but it’s not catchy. It’s like whatever it is. So, there was that. So just an idea. But I don’t again, I don’t think people are going to the website to read.
I put my heart not really. I put a little bit of work into my little write ups for each one, the post. And sometimes they’re kitschy and, like, oh, and sometimes and they’re not, and I don’t nobody reads them. Does it matter? I don’t know.
It seems to matter to you. It does, but nobody’s Guys, too much of a solid here. Alright. I think you should upload these ChatGPT generated images to the website for people to go look at because some of them are hilarious. The cats in the vacuums.
Right. Like, the one cat had a tracheostomy. Like As a vacuum host come whatever. His paw turned into a vacuum host. Yeah.
Like, you get some really interesting stuff. So And one of the vacuums turned into a cat paw. Yeah. Like like so I I love that’s well, if anyone’s played with chat gbt, it’s so funny because everything is like almost Almost right. It’s like You almost got it.
Yeah. But what are these in unintelligible words that are at the bottom of the art? Right. I didn’t need those there. Yeah.
Or, like, when we’ve done just pictures, it’ll be like, why do I have seven fingers and one middle tooth? Yeah. I mean, it’s it is funny. So it’s it’s the whole why did, why did, Elon have two left feet in that that weird lead AI deep fake? So You guys the I can’t say where we work, but our work was hacked too.
And that image that was circulating supposedly only through through The HUD. Yeah. Housing and Urban Development was also seen at our place of work. And that’s, as a video. Anyway, so Chad GPT, keep up the mostly good work.
It’s almost right. We we love it, though. Mhmm. Because I relied on CHAD GPT. I mean, it works for some things, but you got all mad because, Danger, the 15 year old, he didn’t go to school after winter break the day he was supposed to go back.
And you were like, that kid’s lying. He told me there’s no school. And him and I have been in the car. And I used chat I used well, I used Siri, which I set up to use chat g p t, and then went and she checked, and she confirmed the date the school was supposed to start. And we just trusted it, and it was they’re all fake.
A lot of faith in Well, I know. Well, you put a lot of faith in chat GPT for things. So so I it’s just I need to remember it’s almost right. And if it’s life or death or just like your kid going to school and they’re supposed to, maybe just go to the website. But I was driving.
I was like, come on. Made this old I was trying to live that life of, like, this is saving me time. Look at me. I’m Mhmm. Chad g p and ting it up.
Chad, what a dumb name, by the way, g p t. It’s like they didn’t nobody wanted to rename it after they made it. Someone’s like, well, that’s just what it was kinda developed as, but I should know. I’ve never looked into it, but, anyways so moving on. Is that vacuum still running, by the way?
Yeah. It runs at 03:00 every, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I thought you were gonna, like, pull up your phone and cancel it and recall the that’s okay. It’s just driving me insane, but that’s fine. Okay.
I feel like it’s setting the mood. Speaking yeah. Yeah. We just need some cats to come make some racket. So, speaking so podcast, what are we sorry.
I feel like I have a booger on my finger. I’m sorry. Well, you know, how are you Okay. You’re gonna set that out. Yeah.
It’s okay. It’s okay. Well, you know, that something on the side of the finger that usually is indicative of something abnormal, but it’s skin apparently. Okay. Speaking of podcast, what are you listening to in the podcast world right now?
I mean, not literally. Not anything. Not right now. Literally. I mean Not anything.
I don’t I don’t listen to anything, like, religiously, but today, we were listening to the Mel Robbins podcast. Yeah. And I wanna come back to that. I routinely, but not always, I do I’ve mentioned Huberman Labs, Andrew Huberman. And I wanna make it distinctly clear that his podcast is separate from his work Oh, I’m sorry.
At Stanford. Stanford. Yeah. School of Ophthalmology. Right.
I listen to him frequently because I pick and choose. He has different good guests on. I sometimes dabble. I like This American Life, which is interesting. A lot of the stuff on NPR is also you can get in podcast form.
So there’s certain ones I like there. I haven’t I haven’t been into a listened to a ton of things lately. I go into phases when I have a lot of podcasts. And actually, when I’m when we were both working in Salem, that thirty five to forty five minute commute, I listened to a lot of podcasts then. So I don’t anyway.
So, Mel Robbins. And who is this Mel Robbins? I gotta be honest. I don’t know what she does or what her I’m guessing she’s something psychology. I don’t look it up.
Like a coach. Oh, then why are you asking me? I listened to it for the first time today. Oh, okay. I had seen her come I had seen her clips come up on my TikTok page.
So you’re not an expert. You’re just, hey, this is good. You’re getting a fresh view. I don’t I’d heard some are still Yeah. I’m just trying to listen to things that are keeping me distracted from all of the negativity Okay.
In the world. I’m sitting right here. And helping me to, you know, focus inward on myself, on my smaller community. Okay. Because it’s easy to get wrapped up in.
Right. Which is, why yesterday, I successfully did not do any TikTok or news or anything from a certain point in the morning till pretty late at night, pretty much. Like, I was like, I’m not gonna get I’m not gonna get that’s not my jam. So, yeah. Today, Mel Robbins, it was just what was interesting.
She was talking about on this episode about I don’t remember the the whole whatever, but I remember she had, like, five or six things that, she’s well, here’s what I I can tell you the name. Yeah. I can tell you the name of the episode because I was just listening to it when I was walking on the treadmill. How to control your mind and redirect your energy to self transformation. Okay.
And she gives you five tools. And we were in the car, and I only heard the first one oh, the first two. But the first one was she she likened the brain to, like, a golden retriever, which needs to go retrieve a ball, and that’s what it’s wired to do. And if you don’t give a golden retriever, she used another dog. I’m really paraphrasing.
If you don’t give it a task, then it’s that’s when it starts chewing through your slippers or, you know, whatever. Destructive. Destructive. Right. And how that was how our brains are.
If we don’t give our brains a task, then we start to ruminate and we get negative and we become, yeah, self destructive, like, all these things that happen. So when we give ourselves a task, and in this case, she was like, or a project, then that helps us to distract. That’s the ball that we’re searching for. Right? So I was like, oh, it kinda was like I was like, yeah, this makes sense.
It was resonating because it she was like, you know, when you’re doing a task, you don’t have time to or I don’t know if it’s time. It’s just your brain’s engaged. It’s doing what it craves to do, it’s wired to do. So I was thinking about this. I was like, what works for you?
What are some projects or task or what, you know? Like, do you find things because I started thinking I started reflecting about my own self. Oh, I was thinking about yesterday when I was planting the plants that we had gotten at the Nursery. Nursery. That’s what it’s called.
Yeah. And how I just got lost in that for, I I don’t even know two hours. I was doing that while also listening to music on the back porch. And I don’t know, just like touching dirt, the earth, it just felt very what’s the word I’m looking for? Calming I guess Or sometimes I’ll find myself cleaning or vacuuming to distract me.
Right? That’s why we have so many vacuums. Well, no, I mean, I will just do I think just doing anything helps me from turning inward and getting self destructive. Yeah. Meditating, walking thirty minutes on the treadmill like I just did, while listening to a podcast, walking outside, walking to the park with Max, like, anything.
Right. Well, not you’re just listening to activities. But that that’s good. I’m not Well, what would you I’m not being critical. I’m just saying, you know, because eventually so, like because then you think, well, do I need to fill up my day entirely with things like this?
Not that meditating is, you know, the well, I mean, it’s a thing, but you know what I’m saying? Like, no. Actually, I was thinking so for me, I was thinking, like, what what works or what really engages me in a way that then I end up not like I don’t know. Like, it just becomes like, oh, I’m not stuck in my brain or depressed or I don’t know. And what which these are stupid things.
One, I was like, you know, as an example, like, I, for whatever reason, one of the task or projects that I like is searching for something, like, you know, if something’s missing in the house Yeah. Like Mhmm. I you know, somebody’s you missed you’re missing something, Max. I don’t know why. Or I mean, it can be a little over consuming when I have to stay up till, like, 2AM searching through every item in the garage.
That’s different. But, like, something you know, I, like, grab my flashlight. I like it because there’s a beginning and a middle and beginning. Hey. This thing’s missing.
Middle, I’m searching for it. End, I found it. I like that. It’s You are really good at finding things. And I just enjoy I grab that flashlight.
I’m just I like to think about where would I where would it go? Where could whatever, you know. This little thing, oh, is that magnetic could be under the ridge. I enjoy that, which is I actually like within my own work, but it’s not as much of my current position as maybe in the emergency department. You get, like, a task list.
Like, someone comes in, you got this list of tasks, and you’re like, boom. And it’s just engaging. I like that seems silly. Like, I like to check mark and stuff off. Bang bang bang.
I enjoy that kind of stuff because, one, it engages me. I like to think about how I’m gonna do it or process it or engineer the idea, those kind of things. The is that my chair now? Sorry. Yeah.
Yeah. We it’s wooden chairs, folks. We have wooden chairs. These are from IKEA, by the way. From what?
They’re like ’40 1990. They don’t make it like this anymore. Yeah. These are like, you know, they you you had to get they probably gave you a little thing of varnish and sandpaper, like, to finish them. I don’t know.
Anyways, I always say that, those tasks or projects, I do like projects, but I get a little oversucked into a project. But I like the thinking What? Not you, You spent three days editing a TikTok. That was a piece of dookie. Oh, I’m sorry.
Could we say that? It’s a family friendly show, by the way. Sorry. If you parents, if you’re children right now asking what a dookie is, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use that language on the show.
Now it’s just getting worse. But, like, you know, I like to think of, like, how would I engineer something or think through it? So I do like I I do find that the question is how can you pick a small project or thing to distract yourself if you find that you’re going into a funk? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer.
Maybe I need to listen to Mel. Her second step that I heard was look for once a day, look for something that’s shaped like a heart. Mhmm. And, like, okay. You know, that seemed kind of interesting.
I don’t know what the last did you finish listening to this? No. I got to number four, I think. So welcome to Doing the Most, by the way. We listen to other podcasts And then tell you about the podcast.
So you don’t have to. In a very poor way because we we’re not even that good at, like, rehashing it. So Sounds like most. I’m sorry. No.
But I’m just saying. It just kinda it makes me think about how, what we’re doing the most sometimes. Okay. The little section I’m it doesn’t mean little follow ups. Okay?
This is kinda we look back at some of the other episodes. We do You don’t have to explain everything. Previously on. So no. Litter the litter box debacle update.
Can you give us a little update on what’s going on? Because last, I think we told the listeners we got brand new Litter Robot four. We previously had two Litter Robot threes, and we have five cats still five cats. Where are we at with this situation? Okay.
So four of the cats are doing phenomenal. Alright. You know who’s not doing so phenomenal? Your beloved Papa Hammy. I know.
But before be okay. But in some way in the past, he was doing fine. Yeah. But Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. No problems. I don’t know what it is about putting the two litter robots in one space that just freaks him out. Do you think it’s because remember, we had moved the new litter robot to the main living area thinking, okay. Maybe that was too much change.
I mean, for those of you who have cats, we were like, maybe it was too much change all at once. So let’s just ease it back. So and then he was still afraid to go into the laundry room. So then I put a litter pan in the laundry room next to the old litter robot. Yeah.
And when the litter pan was full up, he started using the old litter robot again. Great. And I’m like, okay, now might be a great time to integrate them back together into the laundry room where I want them all to be. I don’t think this cat peed or pooped for forty eight hours. But when he has, sometimes it’s been on the kitchen floor.
Well Yeah. Pooped on the kitchen floor, and he pees somewhere on the entryway Yeah. Which I had to hide by moving the shoe rack there with a rug covering it so he wouldn’t smell that. So it’s just even just talking about it makes my shoulders tense up because I just don’t know what to do. You need to do a project or something.
And and think of find a heart. I don’t know. I was just getting the update because we’ve gone from, like, hey. We had, like Find a heart. Drive five cats.
It was going awesome. We had two little robots, but then they were kinda, like, well, they’re kinda, like, chugging along, not quite working one of them. And then it was, like, hey, we got this brand new one. Yeah. We got we got three of them.
Now we’re down there. And now it’s, like, oh, now we’re now the whole boy in the litter of us never scoop. And what are you doing? Occasionally scooping. Well But I’m willing to make that sacrifice for But the whole boy.
The most beloved cat in the house. But the whole boy is never scooped. That’s why it irritates me for you. We will get there. We’ll get there.
It was just too much all at once. Okay? We’re not even, what, three weeks in? He needs a project. He’s easy.
Go find a heart. I know. So okay. So we’re doing the most with litter boxes currently. So now we have robots and good old fashioned scooper boxes.
Right? I have another scoop if you wanna have two scoops in there. Our laundry room is like, it looks like, you know, it’s like a baseball stadium restroom for cats at this point. There’s so many options when you you’re like, oh, I’m gonna use the urinal. No.
Oh, these dolls are full. I’ll just wait here. Like, it is getting a little out of control. Whatever. Okay.
And then a little quick back because that was might have seemed like I’m in critical view. Garage cleaning. That was like all. We were talking about the hoarding and the hoarder path recently. Garage cleaning.
This is a question for me. How’s that coming, Mitchell? Thank you for asking. We are both on leave this week, and it’s my job to work on that. How is it going?
Today. I did move I moved some junk out of the garage into the back of the pickup truck. Today? Oh, yesterday. And I put a tarp on it so it doesn’t get wet.
Mhmm. I feel it. And, oh, I didn’t make I got one of the little robots. I did make FrankenBot, which is two old little robots turned into one fun thing. Do that project.
Right. That was Which I’m that might be why Hammy is having such a hard time with that. He’s probably like, what what is this? I’ve never seen this before. It looks pretty cool, I think.
But anyways, it’s because it’s just two tone. It’s still functional. It’s not like well, the old one did have tape on the side. Not the old one, the new old, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, so the garage clean still it’s Monday right now.
When a listener hears this, it might be Tuesday of, you know, April. So anyways, that’s garage cleaning. You gotta come along with that. Alright. Recent events, my love.
We recently went to an RV show. We did. We’ve gone to two of these now. Right? What and it made me start thinking, like, I was like, what inspired this RV show?
Well, the RV the RV dream that we’re kinda dabbling with, what inspired this for you and when? Didn’t it inspire you too? It did. But it was like I don’t know. I don’t even remember.
I just I think the thought of getting rid of everything and just being in a smaller space with less maintenance. It still has its own maintenance, but it is not a house. And the idea of just being able to hook up, drive to Bend for the weekend, and stay at a campground, and I don’t know. Just there was something just very freeing about it that I don’t know. I mean, how long Is this still what I want?
I don’t know. How long has it been going on? Two months, three months, four months? I don’t know. Probably two.
I mean I I really don’t remember what, With the inception of this provoked the idea, but Well, I mean, because it was I feel like we came to it independently. I don’t know. I don’t feel like you came and sold me or anything. Or something I don’t know. That’s what I’m saying.
I don’t remember. It was just like, oh, yeah. Can you imagine? And it was kinda like, oh, we kinda bopped it around. I was like, oh.
And then it became kinda this, I’m gonna probably use a word wrong, the impetus to start thinking about, well, if we were gonna do this, what would it require? And the RV shows are fun because we get that we’ll walk around in the spaces and kinda like imagine, like, oh, could we do this? Could we not win? Oh, how would oh, this is where Max would be. Oh, in danger?
Oh, we’re gonna put him. Oh, he needs his own trailer. Like, you know, all these kind of things. This is post danger Right. When he’s moved on from high school.
Right. That’s true. We and we call it this read of a four year plan kind of thing. So but I think there is a I’m gonna use the word romantic idea of, like, just getting rid of everything, most all your possessions, and making it fit into a tin can with wheels. Like, something about that’s like the thought of it’s liberating.
My ability to get rid of stuff is not. Although, when I did put some junk in the back of the pickup truck, it felt good. We will get there. But but so I don’t know. We got a ways to go, but I don’t think we’re gonna be selling the house anytime soon with the way the economy is looking.
So do you think this is a serious thing or is it like it’s fun to dream and if it helps us re oh, what’s the word I’m looking for? To reimagine our life like, okay, if we did this, what would it take? Because it’s not gonna hurt us to slim down all the crap we have. That’s for sure. Right?
And if we slimmed it all down and could fit in an RV, but we didn’t get an RV, would I be disappointed? Probably not. I’d be like, hey. It still gets benefit, the practice of aiming for the RV. Mhmm.
And it’s still kinda cool to think. And maybe we’d be like, oh, we get a really smaller home and have an RV so we could kinda do both. I don’t know. Yeah. I think the goal I think going from this large of a house with this much stuff to an RV would be very, a shock to the system.
Right. But I think the idea was to go, like, eventually sell this house, maybe rent a smaller place and see how that I mean, at this point, I think by the time we sell this house, we’re just gonna be ready to do the RV thing. Possibly. Because It’s why do I get anxiety thinking about all the stuff I have and, like because I see you looking at it right now, and you’re just like, I can’t get rid of these guitars on the that one that one was Michael’s and I know. It’s so weird.
The we can always rent a storage space. Yeah. That’s a kind of a cheat way to do it, but also, like But we can No. Because that because we’re not going to be doing this forever. Right.
Especially But it would be a nice two to three year adventure. Because given the, like that Tiffin Phaeton, that’s a motor coach, by the way, built on a freightliner chassis. Oh, that that baby half a million dollars. And that’s not and that’s and by the way, folks, you can spend upwards of a million. Like, if you wanna get into the big, big, you know, the crazy kind of stuff.
That was pretty crazy. That one was cool. And that one, though, I remember distinctly thinking, yeah. My parents my father, I love you, dad, is not gonna be coming up into that thing because the stairs and the steps, like, there’s a elevation thing. Even scared me.
So at a certain age group, I feel like you gotta phase out the RV or you gotta get, like, a flat one or a ramp. They probably have, like, accessible little somethings Fair enough. To, like So and then that was a recent event. More recent and that was the Portland RV Show. We went to the Salem One, what, last month?
That one was kinda sad. Well, ever since you went to the port yeah. Well, fair enough. Well, because they had all the used ones, and I’m just like, gross. Oh, hey, guys.
You wanna come check this thing out? Used one? Yeah. And then the other recent event, really not. We went to Costco today.
Right? Yeah. That was not exciting. However, it made it made me think of this. Just a real quick this is it made me think of this today.
I was like, oh, we’re slowly just kinda trying to restock our pantry, kinda get things, you know, prepared for whatever. And then I was like, you know, we didn’t buy any of the disposable wipes. Right? Mhmm. Flushable disposable wipes.
I’m not gonna that we all I think we all know what those are. We didn’t get any, but we were recently talking how the Costco ones have changed their a few things, and they’re just like something about them like, I was thinking of this, so I thought, where are we going with with, like and by the way, really quick, I know some listeners are anti flushable wipes because they’re bad for the sewage system. I hear you, people. You don’t need to write in and tell me. I know they’re bad.
But what I’m saying is this, the Costco ones, they rechange the way it opens. The lid doesn’t shut on the little plastic bag. They’re very rippy. They tear. Yeah.
Usually, you’re like, oh, yeah. They’re rippy. They tear. You got oh, like a little thumb size piece out. Or, like, I got pulled two out and then slowly gingerly separate them, stuff one of them back in, which now the lid will never fit.
It won’t close, and then that one just dries out. So I’m like, you might as well just pull out as many as you need and throw away the ones you don’t because that’s where you’re at. But and then that other brand, was it Cottonelle? No. It was, like, clean and dry, clean and clear.
Wait. Not the Tushy Wipes. Oh, Cottonelle. Yes. I’m saying the Cottonelle ones, which I thought smelled kinda like sour apple or sweet they had like an apple irritated my skin.
Those were the reverse. They had no perforations hardly. And so you pull out, like, you you had to tear them just to, like, separate and create your own size, which made it feel like more work than it should be when I’m already trying to just get out of the bathroom. And then there’s some tissue wipes. Right?
Yeah. Is that what they call it? Something like that. We had been getting those by Amazon. They were like, I don’t remember.
They were like clean and clear. Okay. Fresh and clean and fresh. Feel like they had a woman’s behind in a pair of tight jeans or something. Like, an illustration.
By the way, this is I’m keeping it clean. Could have also just been a man’s butt who really likes to do squats. Fair enough. It was just a tight fitting pair of jeans. Yeah.
Hey, that I need to behind. So and then yeah. So we haven’t really and then we have dabbled with the Walmart ones, but we’re not necessarily big Walmart pro Walmart people, are we? So although their man their dude wipe knockoffs were pretty nice. And that minty smell, which I don’t know.
I don’t know. So one We could just get a bidet. Yeah. I mean, well, how does that actually I always say, like, people are like, yeah. And then you’re like, well, what does that entail?
You’re you’re sitting with a stream of water and you’re downstairs. Uh-huh. And then what? Like, that’s not enough. You’re if if you What do you mean that’s not enough?
Asian countries use it all the time. You saw my underwear test. That’s because you didn’t have a bidet or wipes. I’m saying, like, but the bidet, like, I don’t think a stream of water you I think you need to still get some manual pressure in there. Sometimes.
That’s I’m just saying. Let’s see. Okay. Okay. We’re not doing this potty talk.
Not that’s right. Okay. All I was just saying is well, I was just saying, maybe we’ll do an episode on bidets. After we get one? I don’t know.
I mean, I’m not the bidet is interesting. I’m not denying They’re like heated. It’s like, hey. You know, it’s like a heated toilet seat. They have all these or at least when I was in Korea.
Yeah. I know you take a shower with all of these, like, different functions. Well, you know, I’ve got to kinda do that sweep out and they’re in the toilet already as opposed to an actual real bidet, or did they have real bidets? No. Yeah.
I mean That’s like a weird What? The real bidet? Yeah. Yeah. No.
I didn’t think No. They had the ones you just Like a downstairs. Put on your toilet seat. Right. I don’t think that the French, I think, would have a problem with that.
Them using the term bidet, but maybe they have a new term for alright. So that okay. That was it. I was just thinking about the the wipes for whatever reason. That’s Costco.
Because I was like, yeah. No. I walked by them and I thought, we didn’t mean to talk about that. Okay. We are moving along.
We oh, we were reviewing we gotta keep going. We were reviewing I was reviewing what we’re spending money on. And I was like, oh, we spend a fair amount of money on restaurants, or we have recently. So which though we were talking, this is kind of part of our rich life. And I talked about that last time about Ramit Sethi and like doing your rich life.
However, you know, and things you’re like, oh, we really like this, so you’re gonna like cut out the things that maybe you don’t love as much. Right? But what I was thinking about was we were kinda talking about this and maybe this is where some you users, listeners could chime in, not live, obviously, because we’re not live streaming. I could send in feedback at feedback@carolynandmitchell.com. Are you laughing?
You’re like, this isn’t gonna happen. A shameless plug. Well, I’m laughing because that web that email wasn’t working until, like, a few days ago. Oh. Even though I kept pushing it, I was like, oh, dear.
What if someone gave up hope? So at feedback@scarletandmitchell.com, does work. Or you go to the website or whatever. What I’m saying is this. You would talk we’re talking about restaurants, and so sometimes people often think of it as like, oh, I just don’t wanna cook tonight.
I don’t wanna clean up the stuff. I don’t wanna do any of it. But you pointed out for you, it’s like sometimes it’s not about that. It’s like, I just wanna get out of this house, and I wanna eat food, and I wanna be somewhere else Yeah. That isn’t this house.
Yeah. So we I guess we were kinda brainstorming. That’s why I said maybe listeners have their own input, or maybe they don’t or maybe nobody cares. What ideas, like, were we like, well, how could we achieve that, get out of the house without maybe always we like to go to nicer restaurants, you know. I would say nicer.
I’m just implying they’re we’re like they’re just Yeah. We’re not going to, like, Taco Bell for Right. Dinner. That’s I mean, we’ve done that once in the last Or or Chipotle. Right.
But, you know, we’re we will go somewhere and sit down. That usually requires a tip for the service. Which I think is what’s kinda eating us up. We’re talking about tips or not eating us up, but it’s like it all just kinda adds up. So some of the ideas I threw out and was kind of like I was like, hey, we could go to the food courts at the mall where you kinda get and this is because I thought that was a great idea.
In this time of the year here, you’re not gonna wanna sit outside as opposed to grabbing something somewhere and sitting outside and having a picnic that just also gets you out of the house. This is like, oh, go to the food courts. The other idea was like, you know, hey, Costco, really cheap date. That sounds really bad, but, like, we’ve never done that. I feel like if you go to the food court at Costco, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Because? You’re probably gonna end up shopping there. Oh, yeah. It’s it’s it’s not the dollar Kinda the same thing with mall. Right.
You’re saying the dollar for the hot dog turns into a hundred and $50 hot dog. You don’t know till you try, but probably. Yeah. I mean, I was throwing it out. Because we’ll be there and you’ll be like, oh, well, while we’re here, we’re out of But that’s why we go to that other Costco down the way that we don’t like to shop at, the the Clackamas.
I’m throwing up maybe that’s just a turn. Idea because that one’s outside. The food court is not inside. Oh, yeah. It’s closer.
Not outside. Okay. We can do that. And, generally, we hate that one so much because parking. I’m just throwing that out.
Mhmm. And then the other thing I have here is I call it a middle fast food. I don’t know what that means. I know what it means to me. It’s like well, it’s like maybe Bajio, Chipotle.
Yeah. Like Mod pizza. Maybe the fast food where your interaction with the person is is kinda you’re gonna walk along while they ask you questions and interrogate you and remind you that the guacamole does cost extra. And then you’ll get to the end and pay and sit down. And I feel like I know you Chipotle, you’re like, yeah, not in the mix for you.
Last time I went there, probably shouldn’t be in the mix for me, gastrointestinal. That was some bad news, just in general. The air quality was low in the house, but they don’t have a tipper. There was no tip button on that that I saw. And I was kinda like, hey.
Hats off, you know, like, hey. Thank you. I mean, they had a jar or something, but I feel I guess I like that idea. So I don’t know what else falls into that. And not that you can’t not that we don’t wanna go and not tip, I guess what I’m saying is, like, how do you get out of the house but not drop money, especially this time of year?
And and I’m throwing that one out to the listener. Dear listeners, write us in. Write us in. Just write in. Just Yeah.
If you have some ideas. Or how you get around them. Or how your family, you know, saves money by going out, but you gotta go out to keep your sanity just to get out of the house. Let us know what you like to do. Yeah.
What’s your trick? Yeah. Nothing else comes to mind. I mean, it’s probably we just need to need to be more creative, but that’s fine. Okay.
Now my next topic, unless you have some. I feel like you could. It’s it literally just says raising a three year old. And, for the record, that’s Max. He’ll be four in the summer.
Three and a half. But it’s like he is becoming this kind of, I don’t know, like Volatile. But he’s a contrarian. Right? Like, you wanna do it?
And he’s like, no. Don’t touch me. Like, first thing in the morning, you know, just getting his milk into a cup, you’re like, what unfolds right now is going to determine how the rest of my day goes. And this is the first thing I’m doing this morning. Yeah.
And Like this morning, he put his lid on crooked. He wanted to do it himself. And he put the lid on crooked, but quickly, I was like, had to distract him. I’m like, it’s okay. Let mama do it, and we’ll go watch an episode of SpongeBob.
And all of a sudden, he was like, great. I’m like, why didn’t I try this sooner? Why do I get wrapped up in the emotion of it? Well, it’s just funny because, like, that lid is on crooked, and it’s gonna leak. And it’s like, it’s game over.
He doesn’t want your help, but you’re like, this is just it’s just gonna become a bigger mess. And then he’ll get really upset. It’s funny how yeah. It’s just like that little that little simple thing of that sippy cup lid not being right, and you’re like, let me just Riding the waves. Riding the waves.
The highest highs and the lowest lows. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Yeah. I don’t love you.
It’s like, The eye you can’t imagine. So cute. I’m not cute, and I don’t love you. Yeah. Okay.
Well, I felt like it was a little too soon to be saying that stuff, but apparently, it’s not. Yeah. Well, he’s don’t you? Yeah. So he’s and this is his age.
Now and he’s very absorbent, I find. Like, I always you know, we’ve talked, you know, because sometimes you’re solo parenting and sometimes I am, and sometimes I’m like, oh, man. And I say something and I’m like, oh, hopefully he doesn’t remember that. And I forget, like, this kid remembers everything. You can drive one place one time, and he can tell you how to get there turn by turn for the rest of all time and all eternity.
So, you know, so sometimes I’m like, oh, man. I’m probably just damaging him because I had this moment myself, right, where I get frustrated or I don’t know, where he’s gonna repeat something. Not that I might be embarrassed. I’ll just be like, yeah. That happened, baby.
We did that. So I don’t know. But, however, one of the many books that I’m not reading Oh, I was gonna talk about book I was reading too, but This is a book I’m not reading. I mean, you you’ve read some of it. Yeah.
The bookmark fell out. I don’t know where I was at, which I’m pretty sure was just Which usually means you just need to start over. Yeah. Well, I can feel there’s a spot here where the pages kinda naturally open at page 18. However and this book is called, by the way, you’ve heard her, you’ve all loved her, New York Times bestseller, doctor Becky Kennedy.
Let’s give it up. Good Whoo. Good Inside is the title. A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. Now, I did the kinda cheater thing the other day, and what I mean the other day, I meant forty minutes ago.
I looked at, like, aggressive tantrums. She has, like, emotional tantrums and aggressive tantrums. And I don’t wanna, like, you know by the well, we’ll get to so he’s, like, these are normal tantrums. These are healthy. And he just talks about it’s, like, it’s a signal that the child’s frontal lobe, which is responsible for executive functioning and controlling impulses, is totally offline and the child is physiologically flooded and in a threat state.
So when they’re kicking or biting or like that kind of aggressive outward, it’s like they’re in a threat state. Now I Do you think he’s ever been aggressive? Well, I don’t know. But maybe, like, when he’s, like, kinda gets frustrated or runs away. Now that’s why I’m not totally applying, but the idea that he’s in a threat state, what it was interesting because she said, well, you’re gonna the powerful words, I think she mentions is I won’t let you.
I probably got that wrong because, you know, like so if he’s like, I’m gonna do this, and you say, I won’t let you said that. He he’s like, I’m gonna come over and spank your bottom. Yeah. Thanks a lot. He learned that from me.
Well, so she where I could probably say, no. You’re not. I’m not gonna let you. Yeah. She’s just like, well, there’s all the things we wanna say, but it’s like, you know, I am not I won’t let you.
And the idea is, remember, he wants to feel safe. So when he’s out of control, she’s like, you know, she’s like, you could just say, like, I won’t let you. You can take him, she said, into a different room, his room, a smaller space, less intimidating memories. He’s in a threat phase or could be. He’s not having, like, major outburst, but, like, sometimes he does kinda get that aggressive or whatever.
He’s like, I won’t let you. And then it’s the old, like, you’ll sit she says, sit the door. And you’re like, I’m not gonna let you hurt yourself. You know, you can have these feelings. You’re gonna have this outburst.
I won’t let you hurt yourself, and I won’t let you hit me or hurt me by, you know, letting the child and then she’s like, then you need to start also one of the important things is start doing, like, deep breathing, like, you know, she’s like that, you know, like like She called it, like, cocoa, like when you have hot cocoa or whatever. But, like, when you do that, because children also mimic and learn, and she even said, so she should kinda breathing just the child sees that you’re breathing and you’re also regulating yourself and that’s how you’re doing it. And and there’s a lot more in there. And the other thing was that stood out was she’s like, when you’re talking, don’t make eye contact. And I was like, oh, she’s like, look at the ground or look off to the side.
It made me think, like, interesting because he does a lot of that, don’t look at me. Right? But it’s like that’s that threat thing where someone’s looking at you that feels more threatening than if they’re looking away, which now what I’m really getting at is it’s kinda interesting. The book that I’m not reading, I keep seeing I need to read this because everyone is great about it because remember, she’s all about, like, boundaries, like, setting boundaries, not punishment and reward. She’s kinda like and I’ve really oversimplified.
If you’re doctor Becky, by the way, if you’re listening, thanks, and send us some feedback. So I need to really read this book because it’s like I just haven’t taken the time because I’m being lazy. However, I was like, oh, so what are besides some of that, like, some of the other frustrations, he’s a sweet kid. The other thing I realized someone might say is like, well, Mitchell, you you have four other kids, and they’re grown up and mostly they have 15 year olds, the youngest. Like, you’ve dealt with this before, but part of it is I was a different like, I was a nine to five person in my previous marriage.
Right? Which meant I was kind of the and this might be true for I don’t know. I was the weekend dad, you know, so just fun time weekend dad, and then not available during all this stuff, and then sometimes in the evening. So I own that. I don’t have maybe this the experience with this kinda the the days, which is So I guess what I’m saying is I struggle with you, and if you think I’m a loser, it’s possible that because I don’t You know, I try, you know, like I guess my mileage is varying, but I’m saying, like, I’m learning with Max how to be a better parent.
And I’m sorry to my older kids that maybe, you know, I’m learning these things now. But what the takeaway is, like, things have changed even through my lifetime, and I’m older than you in your lifetime, but, like, this kinda shift into this, like, oh, it’s not the coddling either. It’s more of or the helicopter parenting, but it’s kinda interesting. I guess what I’m getting at is, oh, I need to read this book before he turns, you know, 18. Yeah.
So I’m a little behind. Completely screwed him up. Yeah. Because I’ll pay now, I’ll pay later. What kind of things though when you think of, like, what works for you or what doesn’t with him or what, you know, what infuriates you?
What do you struggle with? And you may not have answers. You know? I’m just I want other people to know, like, hey. We’re doing the most and we’re not necessarily successful.
Well, I mean, I can’t speak for Scarlet. It also depends on the mood that I’m in because I can also be very reactive. Okay. Over you know, and one day might be different from the next day where it’s like, well, yesterday, I handled that with, like, a lot of grace, and I felt very solid and grounded. But today, I feel very volatile, and you feel like everything’s getting to you.
So I can’t I am not gonna put the blame on a three year old as I am also responsible for how I react. Like, this morning, it just felt like there was that moment where he poured the milk, couldn’t get the lid on. It was crooked. And I was like, oh, no. Oh, no.
Here we go. But then I, you know, was in that moment was, like, able to distract. And I felt like because of that, everything this morning went so smoothly. He went upstairs. He got his shirt on.
He came downstairs. He let me put his pants on. There was no fighting about going to school. He was just like, yeah. Okay.
This is what I’m doing. I’m going to school. Alright. Bye. Everything.
So Do you think that was because of how you were approaching it? I and I’m not I’m saying, like, it’s always so hard to tell because some days I I I don’t know because some maybe maybe tomorrow, if that same thing happens, the distraction won’t work. I don’t know. Okay. No.
Fair enough. No. Because I remember I was like, I saw this going down this morning, and I was like, okay. Maybe this is the, you know I don’t I’m not good cop, bad cop. I’m just saying, like, sometimes we’ve seen this where he responds well to me or not.
Like, some days he’s like, I don’t love you, daddy. You know, like, sometimes like, so I thought, oh, maybe and I started I looked at him as I go and then he gave me the, don’t look at me. And I remember thinking, like, I’m not gonna engage. This is Yeah. I this this is not for me, I felt like, no.
I’m not gonna win this at all. So then you that’s when you had your redirect and you kinda work through that. And I was like, hey. Good for her. So I mean, that was good good work.
Usually, we can compliment each other because I know some in the past, sometimes, when he spills that freaking chocolate milk somewhere, you have blown up. Oh my god. I have blown up a long, long time ago, and then one day I kinda, like, got over it. I was like, I can’t, like, blow up because I felt like it was every day. Because that’s so funny.
His he’s grown and by the way, someone else may. He used to wanna do everything. Like, he got to that phase where he wanna do everything himself. He wants to open. He wants a board.
He wants to put the lid on, but he couldn’t. Mhmm. He didn’t have the skills or dexterity or whatever it took. And now he’s, like, mentally, he realizes he can’t or he shouldn’t do this. He got because he’ll say, like, you poor mama because I don’t wanna spill it and make a mess.
Right. But he’ll wanna put the lid on. Yeah. I’ve noticed that. Or sometimes I wonder, I think, is it because he mastered a skill?
Like, I’m trying to think of some other example where he’s like, no. You do it. Like, he’s like, he’s no longer, like it’s no longer exciting for him to, I don’t know. I don’t okay. The toothpaste and the toothbrush maybe.
Like, he used to fight for putting the tooth now sometimes he’ll do it. Sometimes he just, like, I’ll just do it and he doesn’t throw a fail. Like, it’s almost like some things he’s like, yeah. I got this. I know how to do it.
Go ahead. You practice your old man. But it’s always interesting because I always have to remind myself. And as I remind you, he’s three and a half. Like, he’s, you know, I think that it’s hard to not treat him or want to treat him like an adult.
Not that we do. I guess I’m saying it’s just like reminding yourself can do a 48 piece puzzle with no help. Right. They can do two of them in a row. Yeah.
Oh, remember though when he used to see now there’s something, but when he used to have the puzzles, the the little small 12 pieces, he gets so like, he wants your help the whole time. But then as soon as you started to put a piece in, he’d come unglued, like, no. Like I know. That was always so funny. So I guess part of him is growing, and we’re growing and learning.
But so maybe I’ll I’ll read this and clean some stuff. You said you had a book. What’s your book that you’re you don’t wanna go into? Well, it was mostly and I’m not very far into this book, but it’s How to Be the Love You Seek by doctor Nicole LaPera. And it’s talking about how our earliest relationships mostly with our parents impact our adulthood and either, you know, our inabilities to emotionally regulate, I guess.
So I don’t know. I can’t go I’m not very far into it. I can’t but but mostly when I’m reading it, all I can think is, like, how are two imperfect humans like, how are we gonna raise this kid and not break him in some way? Yeah, that’s my fear because my parents weren’t perfect. Your parents weren’t perfect.
Your parents were pretty close to perfect. Well, my parents, yeah, I mean, there was a lot of talk of, you know, divorce and my early childhood. My mom wouldn’t come home for, like, hours on end, and we wouldn’t know where she was or when she would be back because she was out to who knows what. And my dad would pull us into that. He would pull me and my brother, very young age, into that seeking validation of his feelings.
So, and I just feel like, and I’m like, I’m recalling all of this because there’s an exercise you have to do in the book where you’re thinking about these times when you didn’t feel safe or you didn’t feel validated and you and it was like times in your childhood and it gets really specific and it really took me back to places that I haven’t been in a long time. And I was just like, oh yeah, that that did happen. And wow, if Max were, you know, maybe four years older than he is right now, and he is like watching me and you do the same stuff, how impactful and harmful that would be to him. So I I guess my fear is just like, how do two per imperfect humans raise children without harming them in some way? And I say this in, you know, it it is not much of a secret of how you and I came together and how that has probably impacted your older children.
Right. And they might also suffer a long time for and I don’t I don’t dismiss that. Right. But I don’t know. And I guess we all have to do our own work.
And you and I are just humans, but I guess I’m like, how can I do it? How can we do it better this time around? Right. And these are good. I mean so the book is, how can we do it better this time around?
Right. And Oh, these are good. I mean, so the book is, how can we do it better this time around? Right. And Oh, these are good.
I mean, so the book is, how can we do it better this time around? Right. And Oh, these are good. I mean, so far for people who either are dealing with emotionally unavailable people or you yourself are in a way emotionally unavailable, or you’ve been told that by somebody else and you’re like, what? I don’t understand.
And you’re trying to figure that out. Like, I would recommend any of her books. She has several books out. But Okay. Alright.
Well, I mean, I I told you I was gonna try to dedicate more time to reading because I think smart people read a lot, but we got a lot of books. We look smart from the outside. People are like, oh, these people must speak. Look at all. Meditate, ground, exercise.
Yeah. Do the most. All the things you have to do in the day to Just to be regulated. No. We’ll get there.
We’ll get there. I did not so this week, I did not bring a honey. What am I looking at? Because I was like I didn’t either. Well, mainly, I know it’s kinda fun, but I also thought, what if people think I’m just being mean?
Or or what it really was is, like, people are just like Scarlet just leaves a lot of stuff laying around and he just looks at it, takes a picture. Because I wasn’t gonna get I wasn’t gonna figure that bag in the back of the Kia that has, like, tea and scrubs in it. It’s been there. It’s been living there. It’s not in our closet anymore, so it is one step closer to its destination.
Well, that’s what I like. Our new technique to getting rid of stuff is moving it out of the house and moving it into vehicles. Like, the back of the pickup truck is gonna start filling. Like, it’s and maybe it is one step closer. Or for me, getting stuff out of the garage and putting it in the master bedroom is well, no.
That’s not actually closer to anything. But Closer to our bed. Oh, well, actually, I was like, you know, I just need to open this box of books that are old and, like, just let go. Let go. Which made me think of this the other day.
Sorry. We were we’re wrapping it up, by the way. But I was like, the other day, I thought, you know what? We kinda like, I don’t like to distill stuff in the landfill. That is one of the problems we discussed.
But I thought, it’s kinda like, what if I could find someone who’s like a flea market person? Because I feel like a lot of my stuff is just flea market. Not because it’s antique, but I feel like flea markets are filled with Because it’s junk. Used stuff, but it’s not broken stuff. Does that make sense?
Mhmm. To me. So in other words, like, why would I throw a perfectly functioning x y z when someone at a flea market could try to charge someone for it and put it in a booth with a table filled with lots of crap. So I don’t know why I feel like I need to find a is there is there, like, a flea market drop off somewhere? I don’t This isn’t the southbound.
If it works like that. You know, where you just be like, hey, come get my stuff for your flea market. Drop off is called the Goodwill. Yeah. I feel like well, we we’ve seen how that backfires with the life vest.
With the Salvation Army. Oh, man. That was anyway. So alright. Well, I guess it’s kinda mean I’ll cue the music at some point, and that’ll be that.
But I like to let you do your last word about because we’re Scarlet Mitchell. We’re doing the most. But And if you’re listening, please rate, review, and subscribe. Oh, they actually yeah. They call it follow on Oh, follow.
Follow. Yeah. Instead of subscribe? Yeah. Okay.
On the iTunes, at least. It doesn’t have the same Oh, wait. I keep calling actually Apple Podcast. I’m sorry. That’s how old it used to be.
Well It’s follow. It’s fine. Follow. That’s all I got.
Okay, that AI recap was so out of left field! 😂 Anyway, this is Scarlet’s coworker Kathy and I just had to pop in to say I have listened to all the episodes now and they are so much fun! And relatable. It’s like sitting around listening to a great chat—like when we are at work and things are slow and random topics come up. I listened to episode 4 yesterday and today while I was just driving or cleaning and it was so good! I even teared up a little at the end when Scarlet was talking about the book she’s reading and not wanting to mess up with parenting. I relate to that big time! It’s impossible to get it right all the time. We just do our best. And sometimes what’s right for one kid doesn’t work for another! I don’t know how many characters I get to type here, but maybe I will find out haha. You asked about alternative dates and I thought of a funny thing we do. My husband Scott likes to DoorDash. It gives him something to do to get out of the house when he is restless. He likes to use his little DoorDash debit card with the money he earns to get lunch or other random things without me judging him haha (I do the budget). Sometimes we go on DoorDash dates where I ride along with him and we can just talk and hang out. It’s almost like a game figuring out how to get the best orders and make the most money. It’s surprisingly kind of fun and instead of spending money we are earning a little. Not much after gas and taxes and all that, but at least it’s a cheap date haha. So that’s a weird idea maybe. Another thought with the stuff that you want to get rid of that’s still good, they have groups on Facebook or craigslist or wherever that you can give stuff away for free. I don’t know your beef with Goodwill (maybe tell that story sometime if it’s a good one) but there’s always DI or other thrift stores. I get the struggle with stuff and wanting to pare down and it’s so hard to do! I’m definitely closer to Mitchell’s number than Scarlet’s on the hoarder scale. I was talking to Scarlet about that issue not long ago actually, which is how this podcast came up in conversation I think! So anyway, thanks for the laughs and the food for thought. And I didn’t run out of characters!